A LETTER FROM ME, NANNY MCGHEE

Dear Parents, Grandparents, and Caregivers,

Thank you for doing what you do! 

We all know that parenting is a hard job.  It is unique to each family, and it is full of discovery, celebrations, and challenges. What might work for one family may not work for another. Like a daily routine!

A little while ago, my husband and I were unexpectedly given the job of taking care of our, ‘I’m really good at testing the waters’, four year old, granddaughter, for an extended stay.  

We suddenly lived in a very loud world of “I want a snack, I don’t like that, I don’t want to wear that, I’m bored, I’m tired, I’m not tired, I’m not hungry, I’m hungry, I don’t want to go to bed, I want to watch videos, I want my tablet, and no I don’t want to!  

We needed some organization in our day and the best way to do that was to create a daily routine.   I had created many daily routines for my children when they were young but they never seemed to stick.  This one needed to be different. So I put my thinking cap on and started thinking. 

Before too long an idea came to me:  “Daily routines are not a, one size fits all. They need to be custom built by each family. So how do we custom build them? We custom build them one tool at a time.  The first two days were exciting and sometimes a little challenging for us. By day three it was flowing as smooth as honey!  Structure, consistency, and stability were created because of it. Stress and confusion were reduced by it. Life skills were learned from it, and a meaningful relationship with my granddaughter was made in it. She and I grew so much closer and enjoyed spending time together even more than we had. 

I told my daughter about the new routine and she was very excited to try it. I was expecting her to follow the exact daily routine that my granddaughter and I built and when she announced that she would have to change it to fit her work/home life schedule, I was heartbroken and panicked a little.

I truly hadn’t anticipated my daughter making changes to the daily routine.  It was working so well. 

Then I began wondering if a change to the caregiver, time, location, and choice of tools would bring the same positive results that my granddaughter and I experienced.  There was only one way to find out.  My daughter and granddaughter needed to custom build their own daily routine one tool at a time without my interference.    

So I took a deep breath, and one very large Grandma step back, and waited. 

To my delight, it worked just as well for them and proved to be all that I hoped it would be – meaningful, and trustworthy.  

My daughter and granddaughter continue to enjoy the benefits of their custom built daily routine especially the reduction of stress at bedtime.  

Merriam-Webster’s definition of build is: “To form by ordering and uniting materials by gradual means into a composite whole”. 

There are 8 words in the definition that stand out to me.  I think they describe the purpose of a custom built daily routine and embody the mission of the Nanny McGhee website:

Form – “Bring together parts or combine to create (something).”

Ordering – “Request (something) to be made, supplied, or served.”

Uniting – “Come or bring together for a common purpose or action.”

Gradual – “Taking place or progressing slowly or by degrees.”

Common – “Shared by, coming from, or done by more than one.”

Means – “An action or system by which a result is brought about.”

Composite – “Made up of various parts or elements.”

Whole – “An organization of parts fitting or working together as one.”

My granddaughter and I built the Evening Routine first because it was the most challenging time of the day. Some people might ask, “Doesn’t it get boring doing the same things every night?” Not at all! There are no surprises or guesswork and there is a sense of comfort felt by the familiarity of the activities. Our children don’t do consistency naturally. It’s something we need to teach them – a life skill that will help organize their day at home and out in the big wide world! 

As parents, grandparents, and caregivers we enjoy the benefits of consistency. We experience it in our home, at work, while we’re driving in our vehicle, picking up a prescription at a pharmacy, online shopping, just to name a few. But what happens if we find ourself in a situation where there is a lack of consistency? For example, shopping in a grocery store that changes the location of their food everyday. Now add the extra challenge that we went to the grocery store on our lunch break from work and didn’t budget for extra time, oh and we're extra tired.  How do you think we'd feel? A little panicked? A little frustrated? A little disappointed? A little stressed? Now think about your child for a moment. If the Evening Routine were changed every day before bedtime, how would your child feel? A little panicked? A little frustrated? A little disappointed? A little stressed? 

My daughter says it best, “A consistent Evening Routine is the foundation of our home. It ends our day with a calm we all need and helps everyone in our family have a good night sleep.  It makes everyday better!”

My granddaughter and I created the Afternoon Routine next. We sure do love Quiet Time With a Book. It gives us both a chance to have a rest and recharge. 

Lastly but not least, we created the Morning Routine. It’s such a wonderful time of the day. Everyone is wide-eyed and bushy tailed and excited about learning and having fun. 

I would like to invite you to custom build a daily routine one tool at a time with your child.  Please remember to progress slowly. Trying something new can certainly be intimidating.  I had to remind myself that “patience is a virtue”, and so is being committed, kind, respectful, consistent, and understanding. Being mindful of these qualities definitely helped my granddaughter and I. 

I am so thankful that we were able to do this together. Thank you my Sweet Darl’n!

I am a big fan of giving an encouraging pat on the back so please remember to give your self one. FYI – I patted myself a lot!

Happy Building! 

Your parenting buddy,

Nanny McGhee